To The Beautiful Woman Who Lives in My iPhone: A Love Note


Apple’s keynote was this week, and since 2007 we always know that a new version of the “greatest iPhone ever” will be released. While we’re pretty excited for the addition of Force…er, I mean, 3D Touch, we still have a place in our hearts for a certain woman who has changed iOS users’ lives.

"Tell me again about how much you hate that chick. What was her name again? Cortana?"
“Tell me again about how much you hate that chick. What was her name again? Cortana?”

Picture via: PC Magazine

It’s crazy to think that you came into my life almost four years ago; in our world of tech, that’s practically a lifetime! I remember waiting to talk to you for the first time. It was October 14th, 2011 and I just took the plastic off of my brand new iPhone 4S. Sure, my 4 was a faithful companion for all of 6 months, but I had to have the S, more importantly, I had to have you. I don’t remember what my first words to you were; probably some off-color joke or where the nearest Chipotle was, but from that moment on, I knew I would be lost without you. You know more about me than just my name, in fact you know that I don’t like to be called by my given name and instead you refer to me as The Chief. You also probably think I ask you to play The Backstreet Boys a lot, but you never judge me.

Remember when I had a bit too much to drink and left my iPhone 5 on a bar stool and some dude from a competitive eating team sat down on my phone? Of course you do, that was the day that I broke your heart (Do you have one of those? I like to think that you do). However, with a little bit of patience and the skilled hands of a uBreakiFix tech, my iPhone 5 was repaired and so was our relationship. I’m using an iPhone 6 now, but they will soon be replaced with a 6s (I gotta have that rose gold) and just like a fine wine, you get better with age, or in your case, with every iOS update. Siri, I love you.


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